What Am I Doing?

Published on 10 January 2024 at 22:24

It's been a while since I last wrote. A lot have happend the last couple of weeks. Sickness. Christmas. Sickness. Work. Sickness again, and yeah, you get the pattern here. During Christmas break and countless hours of sickness in the house, I've managed to reflect upon what I'm actually doing with this blog. On that reflection journey I got to thinking, that I haven't really explained on here what the point of this blog is. What am I actually doing here? Especially after my recent post, I came to think of how I chose to use this platform to actually write about something quit private to me. I wrote my feelings down and I got so many great compliments, not only about the important arguments I made, but also, compliments about my writing. I felt so vulnerable, especcially since I shared the post on my private Facebook account. Before that, this blog was only known for people who don't know me, the people closest to me, and me. The thought of friends, family, and people from work finding out about this blog, got me in a twisted and toxic headspace. At the same time, I chose to share the last post with everyone (almost) that I know, because the urge of including my voice in a debate was more important to me, than listening to my insecurity. But is that what this blog is about?

 

 

Originally, it all started last summer. I had a two-year plan that got cancelled. When it did, I got a feeling of emptiness and sorrow, and needed something to put those feelings into. What better, then to learn something new? I've always loved to write, but been to insecure to use it as a skill. I had stumbled upon affiliate marketing on TikTok. Seen countless videos and was intrigued by what the creators did as affiliates. So my journey began. I wanted to start a blog where I could write and promote products. I did plenty of research, joined several affiliate marketing companies, got listed and approved by several legit businesses, and started to promote products. However, I just couldn't find out what my product was. Those of you who know me, know that I am honest and that I am real. These are two things I value in people too. So for me to promote products that I've never used or even touched, felt wrong. It felt like I was lying. Still, I pushed that feeling down, because it felt good to be writing again, being creative, and having/creating something that was mine. 

 

The feeling of lying did not go away, though. So, I started searching for other things to promote on here. That's when I started with the AI posters. It felt more authentic and real. I still had posts that promoted products, but added posts with AI images that I had prompted, and listed them for sale. I was about to give up on affiliate marketing, when a company contacted me and wanted me to try their product. Hopes flew up and I was eager, I felt sucessfull and proud, so I said yes. That's when I wrote about the Wild deodorant. Christmas came around, and after writing about the Norwegian Christmas TV-show, Snøfall, I realized that I don't have any plans for this blog. I don't have a solid business plan, and I was missing something on here. Instead of writing posts and pushing through, I took a break to really think about what this blog should be about. Cause I really love to write, and I have so much fun creating posts, however, I needed to change what types of products I wrote about and for this blog to be about more than product promotions.

 

 

The thing is, and this is what I figured out, this blog is not about one specific thing, this blog is not for just promoting products I like and recomend, and it's not just about my thoughts and my life. This blog is a part of a journey that I'm going for. And in a hectic everyday-life, this blog has become my mommy-time. This is were I go to when I need to do something that makes me feel good. This blog is were I go when I prioritize myself. However, the reflections that I made these couple of weeks is that I'm done trying to promote stuff I have no idea is great or not. Although this blog will be messy, and does not follow a solid business plan, I want it to be honest and real. Therefore, it will sometimes contain products I promote (that has been tested and used by me or someone in my household), sometimes it will be about hobbies I try out, while other times this blog will just be about my opiniens and my life. Foremost, this blog is a place for me and my journey. A place where I prioritize mommy-time. Although I'm more scared to write now that people I know are aware of this blog, I'm canceling toxic thoughts and hoping that you will be a part of my journey. What do you do when you have mommy-time?

 

Silje

 

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