Not able to calm down

Published on 6 August 2024 at 10:15

Befor this summer I've been going to a therapist and learned how to take care of myself in stressful situations, I felt hopeful and looked forward to having my family at home and just enjoy summer break. Although I've practiced relaxing techniques, I've done so when man and child has been at work and in kindergarten, thus I was not ready for what this vacation had to offer.

I started to learn Pilates, I tried out several hobbies like building Lego, knitting and drawing, however books became my hobby. So I knew that when I needed to take a break during vacation I needed to either do Pilates or read a good book. It turned out, that it was not that easy when the house was full of noises.

In fact, doing Pilates in the living room when everyone else is in the same room, well, that's not for me! And I don't feel like I could tell everyone to go outside so that I could do Pilates. I don't like to bother others or be "in the way".

As for reading books, with at toddler and a puppy, there is always so much noise in our house, good noise of course, but not when one is overstimulated and just need it to be quite. So reading books became triggering because I wasn't able to concentrate and relax.

So, what happened? Well... I have yelled and been in a bad mood. Thus our first part of vacation was not pleasant. I've been so so tired, and my mood has of course affected everybody. I had to stop. Had to figure out how to take care of myself with everyone around me. After some reflections, I figured that I needed to communicate my needs to my partner. 

I learned that it's better for me to kindly ask everyone to go outside for 15 minutes, so that I could read or do Pilates and take care of my mood, and it's was better for my family to give me that space in order to have a calm and happy mom and partner. I learned that it's ok to have needs, and that my partner appreciates open communication so that we can make sure that everyone has a good day. 

Another thing I learned this summer is that I can play board games by myself. I love board games, and often played on my own when I was little. However, as an adult I've forgotten this, and just thought that board games was for two or more. I've orded some games and can't wait for them to arrive so that I can use some of my alone time playing. Board games for me is feeling happy, at ease, calm and relaxed, which is just what I'm seeking at the moment.

Best,

Silje

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